i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
