how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Buhtt sex?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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