My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
