32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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