Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Boobs are out for the taking
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
