the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
