I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
