i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
