Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
