oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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