So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
