All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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