first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
