As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
