bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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