mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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