im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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