Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
