i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
