Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
