omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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