I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
