Is it because I queefed?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
