Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
