Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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