Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
