I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
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