Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
