TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
