just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
