Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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