so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
