we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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