he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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