Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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