why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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