i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
