Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
