Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
