But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
