I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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