hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
