What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
