wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
