do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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