i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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