he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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