I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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