am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
