how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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