do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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