Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
