Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
