He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Someone came in the potted fern
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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