I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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