If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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